wonder what are the things that make people happy. some people look unhappy all the time, but then just that one thing shows up, and they transform. some people are always happy, but then just that one thing is taken away, and they transform. some people are never happy and some people are never sad, and i kind of wonder what is that makes these people this way.

are they always happy because everything's perfect? friends, family, school, possessions, health, wealth, do they have it all? don't know. some people seem happy even though they might not have some of these things. some people aren't happy when they have all of them. and while some things make people happy, those same things make other people unhappy. does that make these things good or bad, or is it all relative? what causes pain and what causes joy and why does everyone receive these things so differently? does this mean that happiness is different for everyone too? what is happiness, then?

is happiness an emotion or a state of being? can you turn it off and on like a light? can you say, 'today i'm going to be happy' and be happy, no matter what happens to you?

so what's the big secret? when the future is just as scary as the present, what makes people smile and look to tomorrow while bearing today? and why is it that the things that can make you happy today, stop making you happy tomorrow?

do people like being happy? if they do, why don't they try to be happy more? why do they persist in suffering pain into the unknown tomorrow, if happiness is a nice thing? is it because they won't allow themselves to be happy? is it because they rely too much on something else to make them happy, and lack it? is it because they don't know what makes them happy? how can people not know what makes them happy? can someone really not understand 'happiness'...?

i think everyone wants to be happy, no matter what it means to them personally. they'll take so they can be happy, they'll give so they can be happy. they'll smile to be happy, they'll make others smile so they can be happy. they'll destroy to be happy, they'll destroy to make others happy so they themselves can happy.

... happiness is pretty selfish, and i don't think anyone really knows what it is.